Today is the 9th Day of breakthrough. Although 2 nights ago I had a little snapped while chatting with Abigail. Once again I know how draining I was. The past 9 days I have been consistently listening to podcast to learn about renewal of mind and how to not look at my past. Today's podcast spoke about Lot's wife. Despite the command from the angels, she who looked back at sodom and gomorrah, had turned into a pillar of salt. I don't want to be a pillar of salt! I need to look forward to what the Lord has for my future and rejoice in it before I stepped into the promise land.
This afternoon I was taking a nap. Pretty tired. Halfway through the nap I was awaken by the presence of God once again. The presence was so strong! I broke out into prayer and worship and proclaiming the promising future that the Lord has given to me, and is giving me. If i am not wrong, I heard an audible voice from within reciting Jeremiah 29:11. It was awesome! I was so filled by the Lord and energized! I am excited and immediately the negativity left me. I really thank God for His grace in these tough times. It was a season of humbling process to me whereby God broke the walls that I have built up for myself throughout the years in order to build His wall around me instead. Which are much stronger, tougher and stabler than mine. I felt very protected and embraced.
In this post, I would like to share about Abigail. She has been a very wonderful girlfriend to me who had bore with me through this down-seasons of my life. She has sacrificed and endured a lot for me. I am very grateful to God that He sent me such a wonderful woman. I wonder what did I do to deserve it? It is purely God's favor. Abigail is very dear to me. But when I am emotionally down, in the process of dealing with my depression, I would unconsciously dragged her down. This would be the most regretful thing I have ever done since the day of enlightenment(when I came to know the Lord). I think I did not love her a lot and yet I am self-centered myself. I want to learn to love her as how Christ loves His church. But looking at where I am standing now, there is no avail to me that I could do it. All I can ask for is God to bless me with a humble heart to continue to trust in Him and lean not on my own understanding. Only in this way, I could love Abigail the way God has sent me to accomplish.
Dear, if you are reading this blog now, I want to say to you that I am so thankful to God for you. I am so grateful for what you have endured for me. Thank you for accepting this weakness of mine and continued to stay with me. This is the very reason and grace I have received so that I can be strengthened by the Lord each day. Your grace and God's worked so much in my life. You are truly wonderful and awesome. Perhaps the Lord bring me through this time, to teach me how to appreciate you. Because due to my blindness and pride, I could never appreciate anyone around me. I am not even grateful to God. Thank you for everything. And I love you, will learn to love you more.
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
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