My life, But It's His Story.

A New Life

2011-11-01T07:39:00.000-07:00

In the first semester of 2011 my life was going all the way down. But miraculously, God picked me up and put me in a race. A race, to chase after His promises. I remember right after coming back from Shanghai trip, I quietly transferred to TS with a vision that God has given me: that is to witness Signs and Wonders here. I hold on tight to the vision God has shown me and went around TS, strolling, looking for my team. Today, Mount Sinai Ministry has been made official. Visions, prophesy, intercessory, healing and even spiritual warfare have become a norm to everyone. Sometimes I felt as though I am living an extra-ordinary life. But I guess this is the kind of life Jesus led. Signs followed after Him. So I am certain, if I follow after Jesus, I will witness the Signs too.

Light of the End of Tunnel

2011-08-06T09:49:00.000-07:00

Hello... I guess it's time for blogging again...

After the previous post, many things happened. More struggles, and more victories I would say. The final glory has yet to come, but I can see that it is coming. Glory, for the King of my life, Jesus Christ the Son of a living God.

I remember in some part of the scripture it says, the sicknesses are room for God's work to be done and be glorified. I can totally identify with this verse:

John 11:14

When he heard of this, Jesus said, "the sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God's glory so that God's son may be glorified through it."

Yes, I am sick for months. Mentally, emotionally and physically sick. After a long struggle with many buried painful past, I truly witness God's transformation in my life through the midst of all these struggles. I have learnt a very precious lesson. My strength can never bring me through all the hurdles, only through Christ I may be strengthened and become more than conqueror through Him who loved me. I really learned to trust and depend on God's strength. Almost to the point that, He is my oxygen. Because my mind would play tricks with me anytime, and the outcome is that I will be paralyzed so much that it will affect my whole life if I don't handle it well. I held on, yield onto God dearly. Learn to surrender and let go. Learn to trust. And learning...

Through this journey, God dug through my past and revealed many deep secrets about myself and He showed it to me. Then i have to acknowledge them and move on to the next. I saw my ugliness and it truly humbled me. And the worst thing is, I could not change myself! I need Him to help me to change.

Along the way, I experience breakthrough in prayer and also sensitivity to the Holy Spirit. I felt God brought me to the next level by walking through my past with me. It is a 1 stone 2 birds work. Grown, and healed. I learned about speaking against my negative nature. Learned to talk to myself, speak against my carnal nature.

I didn't really know how to share though. It has been so much so much with God. I am happy. I found true life in Him. I am really joyful.

9th Day of breakthrough

2011-07-27T10:37:00.001-07:00

Just passed midnight. Chatted with Davis over the phone for about an hour!? It's been quite a while since I am on phone for so long! Definitely miss this dude. My army buddy. Prior to that, I just watched a movie alone. Been so long so long since I spent time with myself. Watched transformers and enjoy laughing alone in the theatre. But soon right after the show ends, I dashed off. Paiseh~~

Today is the 9th Day of breakthrough. Although 2 nights ago I had a little snapped while chatting with Abigail. Once again I know how draining I was. The past 9 days I have been consistently listening to podcast to learn about renewal of mind and how to not look at my past. Today's podcast spoke about Lot's wife. Despite the command from the angels, she who looked back at sodom and gomorrah, had turned into a pillar of salt. I don't want to be a pillar of salt! I need to look forward to what the Lord has for my future and rejoice in it before I stepped into the promise land.

This afternoon I was taking a nap. Pretty tired. Halfway through the nap I was awaken by the presence of God once again. The presence was so strong! I broke out into prayer and worship and proclaiming the promising future that the Lord has given to me, and is giving me. If i am not wrong, I heard an audible voice from within reciting Jeremiah 29:11. It was awesome! I was so filled by the Lord and energized! I am excited and immediately the negativity left me. I really thank God for His grace in these tough times. It was a season of humbling process to me whereby God broke the walls that I have built up for myself throughout the years in order to build His wall around me instead. Which are much stronger, tougher and stabler than mine. I felt very protected and embraced.

In this post, I would like to share about Abigail. She has been a very wonderful girlfriend to me who had bore with me through this down-seasons of my life. She has sacrificed and endured a lot for me. I am very grateful to God that He sent me such a wonderful woman. I wonder what did I do to deserve it? It is purely God's favor. Abigail is very dear to me. But when I am emotionally down, in the process of dealing with my depression, I would unconsciously dragged her down. This would be the most regretful thing I have ever done since the day of enlightenment(when I came to know the Lord). I think I did not love her a lot and yet I am self-centered myself. I want to learn to love her as how Christ loves His church. But looking at where I am standing now, there is no avail to me that I could do it. All I can ask for is God to bless me with a humble heart to continue to trust in Him and lean not on my own understanding. Only in this way, I could love Abigail the way God has sent me to accomplish.

Dear, if you are reading this blog now, I want to say to you that I am so thankful to God for you. I am so grateful for what you have endured for me. Thank you for accepting this weakness of mine and continued to stay with me. This is the very reason and grace I have received so that I can be strengthened by the Lord each day. Your grace and God's worked so much in my life. You are truly wonderful and awesome. Perhaps the Lord bring me through this time, to teach me how to appreciate you. Because due to my blindness and pride, I could never appreciate anyone around me. I am not even grateful to God. Thank you for everything. And I love you, will learn to love you more.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Wonderful Sunday~

2011-07-17T09:12:00.000-07:00

The day begin with a lot of flash-backs and wrestling against self-worth issues. Been forcing myself to sleep to escape from an uncontrollable conscious state of mind so that I would stop thinking of useless things. The struggles went on from 7:35am until about 12pm when darling arrived at my place with lunch.

My mind was then occupied with the fun and play we had the whole noon til night. I enjoy the moment we talked about ministry and life, exchanging thoughts and perspective. I think our communication improve a lot. I enjoy heart t0 heart talk with my darling~ It make me feel at ease because I can be who I really am and speak out my heart.

Later on we went to cook the left over bbq food from friday and we start to enjoy the prawns, stingrays, corn and sausages. And I remember there was a very lame martial art movie playing on tv. Haha! It nearly drove darling mad!

In the evening, we went for fruit feast! Durians, rambutans and "unknown" fruit. Lolx! Followed by a very random dinner: saba fish. I begin to love fish again!!

Enjoyed the journey back to redhill as we chatted away about our life and ministry and etc in the bus~ It ended off with a little session of prayer at level 3, and headed home afterward.

Lovely day..

Lord pls continue to fill my mind with your promises and your words.

Phi 4:8
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whateveris lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

God's Visit

2011-07-16T10:47:00.000-07:00

It has been really tiring this week. A few days of OT and rushed a program to start processing a large amount of data by Saturday morning. It was a physical burn-out. In the bible God told us to guard the temple of God, our body, since the beginning when He command us to observe the sabbath. Well, in this modern day, intentional sabbath is required.

Just want to share that I had a very bad attack from the past sexual abuse images again. Usually when my body is in good condition, I felt the divine protection against the flash-back images. But today when my physique was down, I was slapped right side up. Topping up with the stress level in work, relationship and home, it makes my whole day hard to go by. Discouragements are everywhere. Even within me. It was an emotional tsunami. Everything within me crashed down. The feeling of loneliness kicked in and I am heading towards depression. But afterwards, I had two spiritual encounters.

#1 Encounter:

It was when I was asleep at about 6pm++. It was a tormenting moments before I fell asleep. But halfway through my sleep, I was awake by the presence of God. Suddenly I felt my struggles being lifted up gently. Next, erm... nothing dramatic, I just head back to sleep again. I knew it was God's presence and He visited again. The presence was very strong.

#2 Encounter:

My dearest buddy, Joel, came to look for me at 11pm ++ to pray for me. At the beginning of the prayer, we break out in tongues and ask for Holy Spirit's filling first. At that moment, I felt some sensation on my face as though God has personally touched my face! I felt a sense of peace and began to dwell in the Lord with Joel's prayer. I love that prayer~ It was peaceful and empowering.

A godly community is so important. I thought I could stand on my feet alone. Just God and me alone. But I was wrong. There are times where I will lose sight of God and I need a buddy to come tap me by the side and encourage me to go on the race again. It reminds me the purpose of a church. It is a spiritual covering for God's people to last through the tough times.

So, let our cup be filled by the living water from Jesus. Let's be filled with the Spirit at all time. I need to re-adjust my schedule a bit to begin a process of restoration with God. And should I visit counselor too? Am still thinking~~

Lastly, I want to thank you all who read my testimony on the previous post, or even re-visited to check out on me again like now. I appreciate all your sincere blessing and thanks for not judging me and still continue to treat me the same as we meet up daily. At this period of time, your support and grace is very important to me. I'm sorry if I did not live up to your expectations as well. I don't want to rush this time of restoration. I want to be real, be myself, and face my God with pure honesty.

Testimony from the bottom of my heart

2011-07-12T08:40:00.001-07:00

This is a testimony I wish to share from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for reading this and I hope it encourages you.

In the past four months have been really tough for me. Stepping into new career life and it was a very steep learning curve. Everything I have done in office seems to be very sub-standard. Things learnt in school were far from practical. I need to fasten my learning speed and I kept squeezing new knowledge into my head. The stress doubled up with the financial-crisis at home when sometimes dad would have 50% pay-cut and that month will suddenly become hell.(I didn't have enough to go for date and etc) The weight is beyond monthly expenses as dad also in the midst of repaying debts after bumping into loan shark who he borrowed money from many years ago. Dad even got beaten up by the them.

Ministry and leadership issue has been very sticky and draining too. (this part i shall omit, but trust me it was really draining)

Doesn't sound bad enough? At this time, my past sexual abuse memories also suddenly came back and haunt me mercilessly. To the extend that sometimes I would be paralyzed by the memories/flash-backs and it affects other aspects of my life too, career, ministry and relationship. The photo-taking/video-taking sound coming from cameras/camcorders and awkward scenes flashes back in my mind all the time. It is damaging my soul entirely. Not forgetting that I just got into a relationship and it was also very tough in meeting the differences between me and girlfriend. We had quarrels here and there, dealing with insecurities. Sometimes I couldn't react properly to her because of the flash-backs. It got me too emotional and the sense of injustice caught up, and damaging the relationship sometimes. Everything is very discouraging and nothing seems to go right. I also faced some betrayals at this time and some close friends distant away. I felt so lonely and desperate. All these have caused my life to stopped in an unknown realm. I couldn't carry on. I wanted to kill myself.

I am very tired. At this state, I still have schedules on every evenings and I haven't really be resting. Ever since MPC started, I am on a 7days week full day packed for a month already. The only hour for me to rest is travelling and shitting. Seriously...

On one of the worst night, I remember after clearing some relationship issue with abigail and returned home early. I lied down on my bed and stare blanking at the ceiling and began to talk to God. I remembered how desperate my prayers were back then. I am literally begging God and tears start to flow from my cheeks. I kept the kind of desperate begging-prayers for several weeks. Sometimes I sensed a little revival in the spirit, but it wasn't consistent. Sometimes I sensed God's presence and were lifted up, but the next moment in the day when attacked by the flash backs, it brought me back to hell again. Once I'm affected by the flash-backs, I couldn't work and couldn't respond correctly to other things. I cried so much that even until today, sometimes my left eyelid would still be twitching. You know friends, all these struggles are no joke. I was literally destroyed physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and morally. But my story hasn't end yet, please continue to read on.

There wasn't an instant throughout like Moses meeting the burning bush. But I remember the mysterious strength constantly topping me up slowly day by day when I travel to work by bus. I spent time with God in bus. Whether I feel like praying or reading or not, I will force myself to do it. Soon about 2~3 weeks ago, I experienced an even more evident breakthrough in the spirit. The images still reoccurs but it wasn't as paralyzing. I could remind myself what happened and recall the scene without much damage. I can really sensed there is a protection from the Lord beyond explanation. At this time when my mind was guarded, soon my emotions also became stable. Spiritually there is also revival. I remembered how I prayed to God each day to ask Him to teach me to walk with Him all over again. I re-learned all my basics; went back to the fundamentals. Slowly as each day passes by, I found myself in love to worship Him even more. In the past, I used to enter the presence of God baseed on my worthiness(self-value). But now, God taught me about the true heart of worship. I learned to enter the presence of God not based on my value, but based on what He has done on the cross and based on His character. I truly understand it is by Jesus' blood I am redeemed and enabled into His presence. It is beyond deeds and works, but righteousness solely come from faith in Jesus Christ.

These few weeks of struggles, I humbly re-learn my walk with God and went back to the fundamentals. There is no big bang effect in how God revived me but it was a gradual process through daily lives. Everyday live genuinely in prayer and seeking His face. Even until today, I still have very deep struggles and find myself unworthy of Him. Yet I continue to worship Jesus because He deserves my praise and worship, and I will do it even if I am the worst person on earth. Nothing can stop me from worshiping Jesus(In book of Daniel he said, even if the Lord did not save us, we will not bow down to worship false god). I also finally understood the faith of Rahab. Rahab is a prostitute but yet is credited as a woman of faith in book of hebrews. Because Rahab did not look at the value of herself but at God. As lowly as she is, she chose to focus on God.

So am I fully restored from my struggles? No. But am I coping well with my life? Yes! By receiving strength from the Lord daily. The journey in bus to work is very important to me. It was the time I am restored and re-charged. So friends, I want to encourage you to receive Jesus into your life if you do not have a relationship with Him yet. He died on the cross and His blood cleansed our sin so that we can enter the presence of God without condemnation. Christianity is not about routine/ritual/religion. God is like a father, but a Heavenly Father who is the perfecter of our lives and the Creator of all forms of relationships. God desire a relationship with us. And when we know how much God loves us, we naturally will be able to love others as well. Everyday I share with God serious things, crappy things, or even pour out my emotions onto Him, and He even listen to my ranting of frustrations. He is like a good buddy, a Father, a King, a Protector etc.. He is the Creator of all forms of relationships. We all belongs to God. We are created by Him and only He knows how to help us to live a life to the fullest. Today I can face my weaknesses better because I know He will cover my weaknesses. Today I can face failure because I know He has the best plan for me and failures are for my learnings. I have confidence. And my confident come from Christ. He is the pillar of my life. So long as this pillar stood right in the centre of my life, I will not fall. So I really urge you as believers, get to know God more each day. Do not be complacent in your knowledge of Him but always be hungry to know Him even more. You can never fathom fully His character. There are always more to go. I hope this story able to show you how powerful God can be in times of trouble. Jesus be praised. Amen.

4th Date

2011-03-15T09:47:00.000-07:00

Amazing prayers.. Fellowship.. Intercessions. Chat, eat and romance...

New Blood

2011-03-11T08:42:00.000-08:00

Wow these two fridays had been a very fruitful one. Last week's LG topic was about Authority via identity and Power via Holy Spirit. Evidently witnessed that bro TC and WQ were baptized in the Spirit of God! May the Spirit lead you both to deeper depth with Jesus bros!! It was very divine as well because in the beginning of de worship, Joel shared the same verse as Abigail shared with me as an encouragement! It was a breakthrough!

Today, as in yesterday, we met for DVD screening. Watching "Ancient God of China" preached by Ps Kong Hee from City Harvest Church. Wow this is so amazing and broaden my perspective. Not only that, I could see the bros around were on fire for God! Especially happy to see bro L were responding so positively towards our Sovereign God! As I walk send them home and walked bro R home, God spoke to me as I stroll back.. God impressed in my heart about "harvest", "preparations" and "knowledge". I believe great things gonna happen soon! I am getting more excited to meet my DMMs on this sunday! Though not all of them able to turn up, but I believe God be in all control!

Thanks Joel and Jeremy for being such a strong support to me these two weeks. It is really important for me to serve and function as the leader of this group. Without you guys, I am way worse than what I am now. Thanks for lifting me up buddies~ I can't lead this ministry with you guys. Because God provided you guys for me, and you are God's sent help. I am relying on God through your lives. Many thanks! Let's run this race together and help each other up in times of needs.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

⁹ Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
¹⁰ If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.

So much changes.......

2011-03-08T07:21:00.000-08:00

Lately so many changes and so many decisions to make. Also in e progress of humbling myself for God and for my sweetheart. Character pruning. It ouch me everywhere, but yet because of God and because of her, I find joy in walking through these times. I am not alone. Thank u my Lord, and thank u my sweetheart.

oh though lots of changes, the most awesome one is, I have her in my life. =D

Unique Sweetness

2011-03-07T04:40:00.000-08:00

I have so much joy filled in my heart. This time is not like any other times in the past. Because I know this time is blessed by God. And I have this divine joy in me. Today I am in so much confusion! Because she began to be so mushy!!! I am not used to it!!! But I gotta say I love it. Things seem so magical and incredible to me. I am quite in a lost this afternoon but I guess after a few punch of lovey dovey message, I am hit back to reality. I broke the news to several close brothers. Guess what? The greatest joy to break the news to is Richard. My dear ex-shepherd who imparted me all the love theories and practical lessons. Haha! I miss her..!! can't wait to see her on thursday~~ ^________^

Vision came during worship

2011-02-27T20:26:00.001-08:00

As I was worshiping God, God showed me a vision. There is a room in heaven where God kept His treasures. I thought it is going to be something precious n glorious. But when I finally looked at e treasures, little do I expect those treasures are so small, dirty n some even broken. Then I realized those treasures are offerings from us. The half-hearted prayer, half-hearted service, half-hearted offerings. This is God's love. He loves us despite we are filthy rats. He gave us all good things, and yet gladly receive any we could offer. I wonder how do you feel when one day when we see God face to face in heaven and you and I found our offerings being kept by God? Would you be touched and felt loved? I feel so loved by God. I really have no regrets following Him. The journey is never smooth but each rocky path, I can experience Him lifting me above ground and bring me through. What I need is not a smooth life journey, what I need is experiencing God's love for me.

The Power of the Cross

2011-02-26T09:23:00.001-08:00

Recently the Lord really open my heart and soul to receive this prestigious knowledge and conscious about the power of the cross. Do you know that when you say "Yes" to Jesus and invited Him into your life to be your Lord and Saviour, you do not only acquired a relationship with God. You also received great endorsement of Authority, Power and Inheritance. These are the essence when we say we ask/pray in the name of Jesus. But.. BUT!!! We will only receive in full when we have faith. Our faith is a reflection of how much God's power could work through us! As well as our surrender-ness. The more we die to self, the more of Christ's Authority, Power and Inheritance will emit into our lives! This is called Sanctification. In another words, to be more Christ-like. But above all these Authority, Power and Inheritance, it cannot be part from the Greatest Commandment, and cannot be part from serving the Great Commission. =)

So what kind of Authority do we receive? Read Galatians 4:5-6 and Ephesians 1:4-6. We received the Spirit of Son and is adopted into the Sonship of the Father through the blood of Jesus Christ! You can also say that, in God's sight, we are equal with Jesus! Because we are co-heir with Christ! Read Romans 8:7. In acknowledgement of reception in this authority is crucial because when we serve in the Lord's ministry, we are not fighting against flesh but against the spiritual authority of the world! (Ephesians 6:12) So it is very important every ministers of Christ must recognize their authority and our battle is not in the flesh but in the spiritual realm. Those who serve with the will of their flesh will fail, because the arena is not in the physical world. Lastly, we can also see that Jesus even able to cast out demons with His authority. So you tell me, what authority do we have when we are co-heir with Christ? (Mark 1:27)

With the redemption through the Righteous work of Jesus Christ, we have received the power to triumph over sin. (Romans 6:14) The power that is from the Holy Spirit given to us by God. This very power of Holy Spirit is the very same power that resurrected Jesus Christ from death! If such power has the ability to overcome death, what is more in the troubles of our lives we could not overcome with the power of God? The power of God also includes the Spiritual Gifts that God in His perfect will distributed to all His servants to be used to advance His Kingdom. (1 Corinthians 12:1-11) Therefore, serve the Lord by asking for Him to equip us with His power through the Spirit and the gifts from His Spirit. I always remember what my shepherd told me. Human power = human result. God's power = godly result. How can man accomplish god's agenda with man's strength? It is foolishness! (Galatians 3:3)

Lastly, we also received richness from our Lord Jesus Christ! (Ephesians 1:18, Colossians 2:2-3) In order to see and witness the inheritance that God has for us, we need to have faith too. We should not set our heart to hope on monetary and worldly circumstances but on God who is capable to provide us with His richness for our enjoyment! (1 Timothy 6:17) When we have the Creator of all Creations as our Father, ain't we the richest children beyond the world? Treasures not only in monetary basis but also in wisdom and knowledge. Wisdom and knowledge of God is greater than any monetary wealth! Being sure of this, we can also be confident that when we set our heart to serve the Lord, He will surely provide us with everything we need. We need to have faith to respond to the calling of God. Many times God would test our faith by providing for us only when we responded to Him. This is to teach us not to set our confidence in circumstances but in Him who is faithful.

So when we are sure of the Authority, Power and Inheritance that we received through Jesus upon Him dying on the cross for us, we can be more than conqueror. We are all well-equipped in the Truth to battle against our enemies in the spiritual realm. But one thing we should always pray for, is that Jesus will multiply our faith to trust in Him, the love for people and the everlasting hope in Christ, then our walk with God will be as strong as He is.

Romans 8:31-37 [More Than Conquerors]

So let us continue to live our life and share the gospel of Jesus Christ with love and with depth. =)

Sorry this post is not professionally written. Many singlish here and there because it is nearly 3am now. Tomorrow gotta go service and meet a new brother! I am so excited to meet this new brother! I heard from Joel he is so excited for Jesus! Man with such passion is indeed a gift from God! Thank Jesus for allowing me to witness His anointed work once again! Hohohohohohoho!!

Hurts to Glory

2011-02-20T18:18:00.000-08:00

Who says being a Christian is God and me under the coconut tree? Lately encountered so many unusual and complex hurts. Betrayals, misunderstandings, discouragements, failing of trust, and the likes. I was totally broken down, slammed right on the hard concrete ground. By walking close with God, I can clearly see that God allowed these to happen so that I do not find my identity or put my security anywhere else but in Him. Yesterday spent hours crying to God(Who says man cannot cry?). And in return, God healed me greatly, lifted my hurts almost instantaneously and gave me a larger room of hunger and desire for Him. Because of such failures in human to human relationships, God brought me deeper with Him. My soul is anchored so much deeper in Him. I love it! And also, why am I hurt is because those who hurt me are people whom I love. Love is a risk. Love hurts. And I still want to experience the beauty of friendship, kinship and romantic relationship. But I will never have the strength to love without having Jesus in the center of our lives. If Jesus is not in my life today, what I would do is withdrawal and build up defense mechanism around me. But now, I find myself even more courageous to lay bare naked and more vulnerable to love. Because Jesus is in the center of my heart. Now, I can pursue relationship with humans with much confident. These are the verses that echoes so much in my heart.

Psalm 23:4 Even though I walk through the valley of shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

Psalm 16:2 I say to the LORD, "You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing." - For you make the goodness out of every of your creations.

1 The 5:21-22 hold on to what is good, reject every kind of evil.

Jesus, You deserve more than a million praise.

Humility

2011-02-18T10:43:00.000-08:00

God please bless me with a humble heart, and with a humble Spirit. Nothing is more important than being humble as a servant of yours. I ask this desperately in the name of Jesus. Amen.

God is Faithful

2011-02-05T06:08:00.001-08:00

Dear God,

Thank you for never forsake me and always holding me dearly in your arms. I confessed that my faith in trusting you in my personal life has wavered recently. Because of your faithfulness, You even uphold my faith by sending so many people to give me sign of your leading. I thought it was my responsibility for keeping my faith, but now I know as long as my heart continue to be soft for You, You even took over my part in multiplying and stretch my faith. You even gave me what I needed so that I could please You. Just like how You provided for Israelites so that they could gave their offerings. You provided for them in what they need to give. In the end, You are the One who desire to give me joy and watch me smile. You are always giving. I always thought that I am poor, destined to lead a poor life. Because of my limited upbringing, nobody guided me to survive in this dangerous world. How many times have you delivered me out of the jaw of my enemies? I never really had a mentor who knows how to love me and guide me strongly. Those that I met, are only using me. I so longed to be sheltered. But today, You made me realized how much riches You have in-store for me. You personally cover me with your mighty arms. In the day of trials, You sheltered me and hid me under. In the day of victories, You lift me as high as I can endure. I want to learn to trust in you even more. I want to learn to walk by faith even more. I want to learn to be more sensitive to You! I want to totally abandon my soul to You. I will not be afraid of whether my heart will be broken, or my life will be trampled. Because You are capable of restoring me, and You are capable of delivering me. I abandon myself to You. Father Lord, I am hereby a clear witness for You. You are faithful to those who pursue You, even though we are filthy rats. You covered our shortcomings by Jesus' blood. What grace is this? Amen.

Today I Read About Connecting

2011-01-15T21:01:00.000-08:00

From John C Maxwell: Everyone Communicates Few Connects

Key: People cannot succeed in life without communicating effectively. It's not enough just to work hard. Its not enough to do a great job. To be successful, you need to learn how to really communicate with others.

Connecting Principles:

1) Focusing on others

2) Expanding your connecting vocabulary beyond just words

3) Marshalling your energy for connecting

4) Gaining insight in how great connectors connect

Practical Skills of connection:

1) Finding common ground

2) Making your communication simple

3) Capturing people's interest

4) Inspiring them, and

5) Being authentic.

Go and explore your unique way!

Voice of Truth

2011-01-10T18:38:00.000-08:00

Listen to God.

Ephesians 3:20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,

Video --> Voice of Truth

Oh,what I would do to have
the kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
Where Jesus is,
And he's holding out his hand

But the waves are calling out my name
and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win,
You you'll never win

But the Voice of truth tells me a different story
the Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the Voice of truth says "this is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth

Oh, what I would do
to have the kind of strength it takes
To stand before a giant
with just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound
of a thousand warriors
shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out
my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
time and time again
"Boy you'll never win,
you'll never win."

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the Voice of truth says "this is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth

But the stone was just the right size
to put the giant on the ground
and the waves they don't seem so high
from on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
when I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
singing over me

But the Voice of truth tells me a different story
The Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me (calling out to me)
I will choose to listen and believe (I will choose to listen and believe)
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth

I will listen and believe
I will listen and believe the Voice of truth
I will listen and believe
'Cause Jesus you are the Voice of truth
And I will listen to you.. oh you are the Voice of truth

New Me

2011-01-04T23:42:00.000-08:00

When I look back the blogs I posted. The thought that came to me is... God has really been renewing me more and more each day. I felt like, I am a new Edison compared to the Edison who wrote the past blogs. As I walk closer to God, I can see His leading and hear His heartbeat. And I really love taking each step closer to Him.

Distractions

2010-06-30T22:32:00.000-07:00

What is your first thought everyday when you wake up in the morning?

What is the schedule today?
Do I have any meetings?
What is to be accomplished today?
Vacation?
Where to go after work?
Study for exam?
Homework undone?
I don't know what to do?
What is my girlfriend/boyfriend doing?
Still angry about the fight last night?
How close am I towards my life goal?

Don't you know many people was caught surprised by illnesses like cancer, HIVs, TB, etc... They thought like how you think now: "It won't be so unlucky to be me." but it did happened. Such thing came like a storm. If not illness, what about accident? Can you be so sure that you will live to sleep on your bed peacefully tonight and not on hospital bed? Or even the cold chamber. What make you so sure that you can return home sound? What if you can't?

As a medic from SCDF during my NS days, I know there are many numbers of Death cases from Illnesses or Accidental than you could imagine or the news reported.

Many flash backs would occur and remind you of all the investments you have made in life that has come to nothing. None of your investments could save you. Money couldn't buy health. Assets couldn't reverse time. The only way out here, is to live today fruitful as if it is your last day.

Mark 8:36 What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?

Let's not regret this life. Invest your time, heart and effort in something that will last forever. That is our relationship with Jesus and everything that is stored in the Heaven. These you invest, for sure will last you forever.

Matthew 6:19-20 Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.

The 5 Seeds God Sown In Me During SEED 2010

2010-03-22T02:01:00.000-07:00

1. Being precise in prayer and the Words

God has so much blessings to pour out into my life! Since He is a God who seek relationship with people, with me, He also seek my communication with Him. He desires to hear my voice calling out to Him. In this way, He is also helping me to understand what are my specific needs through the specific prayers I made. God also inspired me to sharpen my usage of His Words in my life, so that I can be well equipped to go through every trials and temptations in life with victory.

2 Timothy 3:16
All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness,

Hebrews 4:12
For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

2. Patience (mark 4:26-29)

God engineered everything and its growth. There are stages to such growth and each must take place before going to next. Basically, there is no short cuts. Foundation is crucial for every skyscrapers. Every growth is God's artwork. In order to master God's artwork, I must understand His concept and go through growth with God patiently. I need to have sufficient patience.

Isaiah 55:9
"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

In ministry, I also learned that I need to walk with my sheeps/disciples and help them to understand God's leading in their lives. I cannot lead them by myself but only through God. Every leader is a subset of God's leadership in the people's lives. God's leading in individual's life is bigger than the leadership of men. I must follow God first.

3. Being Influential: Salt & Light (Matthew 5:13-16)

Salt: Adding wonderful flavors
Light: Leading in darkness

v13: I must lead wherever I go. Leading people boldly and displaying the Truth of God through my lifestyle. (Isaiah 7:9b).

Isaiah 7:9
....If you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all.

v14-16: God's light is on me. There is no way that this light cannot be shine if I am living according to God's word.

In 1 John 5:4-5, God says that I am overcomers of the world. The world cannot intimidate me unless I allow it to intimidate me. Because God has given me a spirit of power and not timidity. I have the ability to lead and influence when I grab hold of the very Spirit of Christ who lives in me.

2 Timothy 1:7
⁷For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.

1 John 5:4-5
⁴for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. ⁵Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God.

4. Power & Sufficiency of Grace

I will feel inadequate in receiving God's calling if I do not understand my identity and God's grace. It is because my heart is still measuring what I can or cannot do by my own capabilities instead of the power that God has made available in me. I am not inadequate because I am the child of God!

Ephesians 3:20
²⁰Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,

5. Capturing God's Divine Purpose

God is Holy & Divine. All His creations are created for the Glory of God. But sin came into His creation and distort the divine Truth and Purpose of every work that God originated. The devil has fallen, deceived men and caused sin to come into the world through one man. Now God revealed His Divine Purpose and the Truth of every work He has done to those who choose to turn away from the sinful world and seek after his holiness. He commissioned these people who are called by Him His children in the work of restoration of His Divine Purpose so that He may also share His glory with us! God is not a selfish God who seek after His own glory. He has the very intention to share with us, His children. God want us to feel our worth in receiving His glory, therefore he commission us to do His will as He continually pouring out the abundance of grace onto us as we serve. Therefore, there is full assurance of grace and victory!

Deuteronomy 7:24
He will give their kings into your hand, and you will wipe out their names from under heaven. No one will be able to stand up against you; you will destroy them.

Joshua 1:5
No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.

Don't Let Fear Stop Us

2010-01-23T00:29:00.000-08:00

The Truth is...

Everyone desires to be better, be accepted by others and feel belonged. But fears so deceivingly clouds the heart of people, introducing disbelief of false truth and doubts enter their heart. In such agony, a journey in search for hope begins. Sub-consciously looking out for external strength while in weakness. As the innocence seek from the wrong source, disappointments hit and held them back once again.

Unfortunately, substitutions came and conquered the weak, forcing people to dwell in their comfort, being contented with a lower standard. This is too, a deception. Contentment then has been argued as a form of happiness. It sounds positive but it is just another form of fear in disguise. It robs us of our greatest joy, and handicapped us from believing and trust again.

Promises are what people are looking for. One that is so reassured and hard to break. Such great promise has no man dare to give, except the only One and true God.

Jeremiah 17:7 "But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him."

Wonderful Day God Has Made!

2009-11-21T08:15:00.000-08:00

Really thank God for the blessing today. Early in the morning I woke up for nEbO The Quest challenge! Donald, Eilton, Robin and myself went all out for this game! We ran!! And only rest during traveling in public transport. At the same time, also thank God for Rex to help us with the answers for the quest!

Rushed to service and the topic today is "Renewing Our Covenant With God". Matthias say it is a very important lesson for him. Today I poured out my heart to God again. It always feel great doing it. After which there is a prayer meeting where Matthias, Weiming (Aloysius) and myself were prayer partners. I am so encouraged to hear the prayers from my sheep, it just make me wanna cry. Really wanna thank God for Matthias' teachable attitude. And Weiming's commitment although he is just a new believer. It greatly encourages me when I see my sheep willing to commit to God and pray for themselves to rise up as to take care of people! It all starts from a heart of willingness to serve and give amen? =) Now I'm home.. Today going to spend some private time with God to talk about my spiritual gift. I'm going to hear from God after bathing! Cya guys! Thanks for reading!

Jesus loves you!

Freed

2009-10-26T07:37:00.000-07:00

I will worship with my life.
I will praise in the Spirit.
Everywhere I go, the Spirit speaks of the mighty name.
My praise goes to the Gracious One,
Who empowered my Spirit and shared with me His glory.
The Lord healed my blindness and shows me the joy in the Truth.
I can now shout to the world with no disgrace,
Let my praise be heard, leaving nowhere for the proud,
As the Lord exalted high.

Blessed are those who seek and rejoice in His way.
For it is mighty and worthy of praise.
He pour out abundance for the righteous,
If the Lord had not withheld his hand,
No one can contain it.
This is the joy of my life that I am found in the living God.
In the days of peace, I can walk.
In the days of trials, I will glide.
Nothing is able to stand in my way,
For I have chosen to delight and rejoice in the Lord.
Free in His Truth.

When God Ran (Lyrics)

2009-10-12T09:48:00.000-07:00

Almighty God, the great I am
Immovable rock, omnipotent, powerful, awesome Lord
Victorious warrior, commanding King of Kings
Mighty conqueror, and the only time
the only time I ever saw Him run

CHORUS:
Was when He ran to me, He took me in His arms
Held my head to His chest, said “My son’s come home again”
Lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice He said,
“Son do you know I still love you?”
He caught me by surprise when God ran

The day I left home I knew I’d broken His heart
And I wondered then if things could ever be the same
Then one night I remembered His love for me
And down that dusty road ahead I could see
It was the only time – it was the only time I ever saw Him run

And then He ran to me, He took me in His arms
Held my head to His chest, said “My son’s come home again”
Lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice He said,
“Son do you know I still love you?”
He caught me by surprise as He brought me to my knees
When God ran – I saw Him run to me

BRIDGE:
I was so ashamed, all alone and so far away
But now I know He’s been waiting for this day

I saw Him run to me, He took me in His arms
Held my head to His chest, said “My son’s come home again”
Lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice I felt His love for me again

He ran to me, He took me in His arms
Held my head to His chest, said “My son’s come home again”
Lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice He said, “Son”, He called me Son
He said, “Son do you know I still love you?”
He ran to me and then I ran to Him
When God ran

Listen here

Gallery

2009-10-12T06:46:00.000-07:00

Hello!! Today I wanna share three pictures with everyone..! =)

Can you see the syringe?? Yes! It's a candy, a gift gave by Rex today! It's awesome! We're dining at suki sushi just now and now we are stationed at MacDonald to enjoy surfing net with our lappy. It's quite a special Sabbath yeah? =D

This! A very special drink.. it's a mixture of pink champagne and er... sparkling water in blue? It ends up become violet.. It's beautiful.. But I don't know why it become grey in this picture.. =(

Let me introduce. This is Victor! My dear sheep! You see he is so cute.. his bagpack is all packed with titbits.. wonder how he going to keep his clothes? He says put at the side. You see he reserved the main spot for his titbits! Hahaha.. No wonder God loves him so much!

Well that's all for today! =D hm.. but I feel like sharing another one.. Let's share the cake that Donald baked for Joanne! I as his bakery assistant.... hahaha!

Tada! =X

Love of God. Love for God.

2009-10-11T08:53:00.000-07:00

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

If trials reveal your love, I rather remain trampled.
If victories has kept your love, I rather not win.
If salvation isn't about your love, I rather not saved.
If my heart ever harden against your love, I rather not lived.

Proclaiming myself as an apple in your eyes. A name "sweetheart" you will call. Blamelessness my way of hope. I will come to you in confidence and freedom. Because you are the Truth, and your Truth has set me free.

Ticklish Fingers

2009-09-19T16:24:00.000-07:00

Little fingers crawling everywhere, sneakily taking over the hearts of friends. Every hearts without guards would be conned over. The adults wouldn't know, as they are too boxed up in their brain to conceive. Only the little children will see and then back with fear. Little children do not be afraid, the masks of these eerie fingers will be unveiled soon. So that the fear in you may be lifted, and your walk will be lightened again. There you go little children, there is fear no more. The little ticklish deceitful fingers have been handed over to be punished. Now you know who is behind every defected hearts. So the next time when you see whose hearts are of norms, be sure of the little fingers are rehearsing themselves again in the backstage of the hearts of your friends in order to take them away from you again. Go. Reach out your hands and unveil.

Sometimes, I Want it Just You And me.

2009-09-18T17:47:00.000-07:00

Many branches but all grow from the same root. The Lord says: Unless you remain in the vine, you will not bear fruits. And those who do not bear good fruit will be removed and thrown into the fire and perish. (paraphrased) God is a gracious and merciful God. Provided every ways for us to remain in His vine. Holy Spirit is here to guide us to the right path of righteousness. If we love God, naturally we will be in His vine. No doubt about it! =) If you love somebody, you would listen, trust and obey the person isn't it? Or even die for the person. It is so easy to bear fruit!

Probably obedience and taking things into our own hands are the hardest to let go. When there is self, Christ's Spirit cannot work in us. It is either Spirit or sinful nature. Same for leadership. Isn't it God the one who appoint leaders among people? Isn't leadership about walking closer with God, listen to Him and set direction in obedience? Leaders mean love people more? No. Love is the commandment for every christian! =) Let's cling on to what is important and not the secondary aspects.

Abigail shared to me yesterday that if God has only plan for us to be shepherd. Every sheeps we discipled got transferred and all of them did not stay with us. Will we still continue to do our best as a role of shepherd? When there are success in our ministry, are we serving God? Or serving its ministry? Or serving the people?

Well, yes and I only know what is the best. I want nothing else but my relationship and intimacy with God.

God, only You know.

2009-09-09T09:27:00.000-07:00

It's been a little tough lately in handling the people... people's choice of words are discouraging... especially towards one of my sheep. What's more? Excuses that is. All I know is, I gave my all to God's people... and I need to please God and not man. God promised that He will give grace to the poor and shame the proud. I shall wait and see. Though my heart hurts badly, it reflected powerfully towards God's grace for me. I know that no matter how hard these people are will never surpass how God handled me. But still, I receive grace and He is patient with me. After all the pushes and growth, it is time to rest in the Lord. I really want to remind myself to focus in what is important, that is my relationship with the Lord which my salvation requires. Leadership and such are part of God's glory but never the root of Christians' lives.

For those who read my blog, I pray that your heart will be enlightened and softened by the Spirit. What is the Fruit of Spirit? Galatians 5:22-23 Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. How about what is love? 1 Corinthians 13:4-5. Are we approaching love according to the Word? The bible has stated how we should love people according to God's love. Apart from what is biblical, it is not from God. Be awake and rooted to the Word of God.

Discoveries

2009-08-31T09:13:00.000-07:00

Lord, recently there are big changes in my lifestyle. It's awesome! Look at what you have found in me? Passions that I never thought I would have them. I am now seriously learning guitar and seriously want to do drama. I need to balance well in pastoral, drama and learning guitar. Because of guitar-ing, I want to improve my vocal as well. Lord, I commit all these into your hands. Since you provide, I believe you will bring me through. Lord, place them well for me.. This is indeed a year of preparation as I realize You have been equipping me with various skills. Not only that, break through spiritually too. I have never receive gifts such as this before. They are so impossible for me, yet I see myself doing them now. Thank you Lord.. =) May I walk in the way of the direction from Your Spirit.

Never Stumbling Rock

2009-08-28T22:21:00.000-07:00

Can these storms dread me?
Will the scorch in the desert drain me?
What about the froze? Is it too resistant for me?
How about these drought, does it despairs me?

They may be huge to me, but still they are just a little tiny part of God's Creation.
What can fall and stumble my way when I delight in His Way?
Can this fading-away creation hinder the love of God? By no means!
I, the child of God, who live in the Creator, stands above all else.
Through these mighty arms, victories that were never mine had unimaginably given to me.
My pride is in the Lord, who never let the rocks stumble me.
Now I will look unto the world from high above on these rocks where I stand hand-in-hand with the Lord, our God.

Freedom

2009-08-22T19:06:00.000-07:00

Galatians 5:1
It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

There is freedom in Christ. But it is never an overnight miracle. Continue to persevere and do not give up on doing good, for we ripe what we sow. There is no vain harvest in God's Kingdom, because in God's Kingdom, everything will grow. Naturally, man suffers because of sin entering through Adam. But God did not give up on us and He continue to use the imperfect vessels for His perfect Glory. We can always choose whether to enter the narrow gate or broad gate. The way to the Kingdom is the narrow gate, which a narrow path follows. It is never easy but we develops character every time we make the right decision. Above all the man's work in perseverance, acknowledge that Christ is at work all the time and through Him by Faith, we are more than conqueror. The key to tap on God's power is to tear down our pride. When we are full of ourselves, Holy Spirit cannot work in us. We must continue to seek humility, for I am weak then I am strong in Christ. God give grace to the poor and shame the proud. Feel like tapping on God's power? Repent now and humble yourselves before God, and say an honest prayer. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, we can be set free from slavery of sin. That is the very purpose of Jesus' sacrifice. We can attain the joy in freedom. That is, through Christ alone.

Stand Firm! Be Courageous!

2009-08-22T14:47:00.001-07:00

Isaiah 40:8
The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever.

The Lord is my refuge, my shelter, my comforter,
Never will He turn His eyes away from me.
He has redeemed me and I have lived according to His words,
I will be blameless before The Heavenly King.

Folly and wickedness is man,
But my God is the Alpha and the Omega,
The Beginning and the End.
Sovereignty is His nature,
Mighty is His character,
Majestic is His name.

Man will fail me,
But my God never.
Man will fall,
But Still, God's Kingdom stands forever.

There is no evil can withstand His sovereignty,
There is no evil-doers can escape His wrath.
For God's wrath is more terror than the Satan,
Only the righteous may delight in Him.

He who has ears to hear, let him hear.
He who has eyes to see, let him see.

My God has redeemed me,
My God has protected me,
My God has empowered me,
My God will surely deliver me.

Global Conference in Singapore 2009

2009-08-21T01:35:00.000-07:00

I really enjoyed myself this Global Conference. There are many new experiences and inspirations. So many that I've gained from this GC and I will be here to sort out my thoughts.

General:
I am inspired to follow the vision of Hope, which is to fulfill the Great Commission in our lifetime by building strong and biblical people to plant strong and biblical churches in Singapore and all over the world. This is the most purposeful life I can ever live, and I will live it for God. It is so crucial to not do things base on our own strength. Not by planning and ask God to back up our plan. Learning to discern the Spirit and pray for direction is very important. Exodus 13:21 shows the principle of being led by God.

Hosting International Delegates:
I feel that I am very fortunate to begin serving God at a time when Hope Singapore is already quite well established. I hosted brothers from Hope Malacca and I learned that their whole church strength is 70~80. I wonder what will I do if I am serving in their church? For what God has blessed Hope Singapore, I should be able to do better for God. I really hope I could go Hope Malacca in time to come. I want to know how is it like to serve in a smaller number of people. I want to be an encouragement to Hope churches which are less established.

Drama:
It has been two weeks since we all started to rehears for this dramatized readers' threatre. On the last day of GC, finally it has been presented to the church. It was great achievement and I grew passion for drama. I never knew I could act. And drama ministry would be the last choice I will ever choose. I remember in the beginning when I learned that I were to act, I wouldn't deny I wanted to "siam", means dodge. But I told myself, if God wants me to serve Him, do I choose the area I should serve or obey? In the end I obeyed and the outcome was great! Previously I prayed and ask God to help me to have an interesting character to build fun-loving and interesting committee. I told God that I really need it fast. Then He put me into drama, which I believed it has trained me to master my emotion, deny my rights, and being fun-loving. =) It's an art in God's Kingdom to bring across gospel in a creative manner!

Worship & Prayer:
It is very important to worship God and pray to God in our life. The days are evil and temptation is everywhere, our heart is so carnal and we need Holy Spirit's power everyday... i mean really everyday, to be righteous in God's sight. I am so inspired and filled with Holy Spirit. I desire more of God. I desire to put my Gift of Prophecy into practice. I want to serve God with whichever gifts He has given me.

Of course there are more convictions in my heart. Now I am craving for God's presence. I gonna go pray now. Tomorrow have two visitors from my CG member. Praise God!!!

This is an image that I scribble on GC Wall:

Isaiah 53:5
But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.

Fruitful Day!

2009-08-17T09:29:00.000-07:00

Today is a fruitful day!

Woke up at 10:30am and went to meet Matthias around 11++. We had lunch together and little sharing here and there. I passed him an encouragement card and I hope it helps him during his weekdays in camp. I just feel that, I want to do so much more for my sheep. I need to pray...

Met Augustine at 3:30pm and we chat til 6pm and set off to somerset together as I am heading to GC rehearsal. Spent great time with Augustine sharing about ministry, life history and weaknesses. I felt that after today, my bond with Augustine grew. And I am desiring more of it!

I went through a formal warm-up with Abigail, Ritchie, Pei Xin and Zhi Yang. It was very embarrassing! We need to act as animal, father and daughter, and couple. My partner was Abigail. =X Then we have a round of improvised acting. It was all fun in the end.

Our drama wasn't doing well at starting off. I was rather worried though, but I kept my faith in God and I know He is will do something. We watched the adults people acted and I am greatly greatly inpired by them. I fell in love with acting! Just like Pei Xin shared, drama is a powerful media to preach to the people in an interesting manner when people will enjoy and receive the message at their own will. Abigail then led us in a prayer to empowered our spirit. After which, I felt so convicted and I gave my best. I guess everyone gave their best. And there is a miraculous improvement at the end. I immediately knew that God had it all planned out.

Jesus I can't help falling deeper in love with you.

Service Day!

2009-08-16T19:29:00.000-07:00

Today is service day! I am so inspired and encouraged by Pastor Jasmine. In an hour's time, I will be filled with Spirit. After service Rex, Richard and I walk to Chicken Rice stall to book 16 seats. Along the way we shared and talked about lives.. and Richard Shared a story......

Once upon a time, there is a pail, which is a servant of a master. The master will carry the pail down the mountain to collect water, then carry it back up to the mountain top. The pail is broken and each time when the master arrived back at the mountain top, the pail contained half of its capacity.

So one day, the pail said to the master: "Master, I am unworthy. I cannot carry out the duty properly. Please change me and get a new pail."
Master: "Why do you said such things?"
Pail: "I am unworthy. I am always left with water half the capacity of which you have collected. I am of no use."
Master: "Are you really really sure you want me to change you?"
Pail: "Yes Master."
Master: "Okay.. why not tomorrow when I carry you up the mountain top , you look at your surroundings. Okay?"
Pail: "Okay"
*The master went down the mountain to collect water and went back up to the mountain top. And the amount of water again left with half of what the master collected.*
Master: "So is there anything you spot today?"
Pail: "Nothing. Nothing changed. I am still unworthy and useless."
Master: "Did you not realized that I carried you on the right side?"
Pail: "OOOH!!!!!!"

The master has been carrying the pail on his right, which path blossomed with beautiful flowers and plants. While the master walked in the muddy path on the left. Although the pail is broken, the water that has been dripping from the pail watered the seeds along the way and blossomed plenty beautiful plants and flowers. God is just like the master and we the servant. Our weakness can become strength in God's hand. When there is weakness, there is improvement. And our weaknesses could even be a blessing to others.

What wonderful story... shortly after the story ends. We started dining....

Chicken Rice!

After dinner, Rex, Matthias, Victor, Richard, Eilton and I walked to station. But Eilton and Richard went home from Dhoby Ghaut while the rest of us went to Orchard Central to take an image with our phone and sent to Ephraim. With this picture, we made the winner of this week's Contenders League!!

Image of Victory:

Praise the Lord. I going to worship now... =D

Baking Banana Muffins with Shepherd

2009-08-16T19:28:00.000-07:00

Hello! This time gonna share with all of you the Quality Time spent with my Shepherd Donald... We made went to shop for ingredients and went to his place to bake these...

These are the ingredients needed to bake. There are eggs with Donald at basin at the moment, don't be sad that you don't see the eggs. =D

We have walnuts here...

Flour..

Sour cream... eek!

Now you see the eggs!

Aha!! Now I beat it. Take it slow...

Now add the flour into the beating.. then beat them together. At this time, if the beating speed is too high, you see flourworks. (fire works)

Alright.. now I have stirred it well.. At this time, Donald is preparing sauna for our muffin soldiers.
And also at this time.. Rex and Ephraim has arrived at location.

Muffin Platoon fall in!! Prepare to go sauna/heat dungeon.
Whose hand was that? Spoil image.
R E X

Well done soldiers! You have matured after experiencing heat dungeon!

Packing the muffins into wraps...

Finished packing!!!

Super nice angle huh? haha

Then we printed out names to whom we want to give! It's a fun day! I realized that I am a kitchen-lover that day. Thank you Jesus for presenting such wonderful times!

Michief In Office

2009-08-16T19:27:00.000-07:00

This is good stuffs! My Birthday Gift by Dr. Tan, Aloysius and Desmond! Boxing Gloves!! Time to try it out.....

On Guard! Doesn't look cool with a smiley face here..

Maybe by standing further away helps! But still it doesn't look cool...

This time is losing my cool. Playing prank at Christopher acting as Kangeroo. If ya realized his head is blurred. That's because he just scolded me and turned away. What a polite junior. -_-|||

My Museum Pages Continues @ .....

2009-08-08T10:08:00.000-07:00

http://ed-museum.livejournal.com/

Blessing In Disguise

2009-07-27T12:02:00.000-07:00

I was sick today.. cannot eat properly.. cannot pass motion properly.. on MC. Yet in msn God used me to ripe a long sowed seed. This is the best birthday gift that only God could give me, a buddy became a brother for eternity.

Sincere faith.

Firm decision.

Praise the Lord!

Let me introduce...

2009-07-26T22:26:00.000-07:00

I have many friends. Friends.. good friends... best friends.... buddies. Many times friendships were betrayed. Once buddy but an enemy over a night. Once loving and became stranger the next day. Also jealousy, bitterness, competitions and etc had causes many broken friendships... It's painful deep insight to break up with a good friend. But man will fail one another, because man is not perfect.

There is a friend who never betrays, always love, always care, always listens, always there for me. He is also a very strong person that you can rely on in all seasons of troubles. I want to introduce this friend to you. His name is Jesus. He is not only a best friend to me, he is also a best friend to Richard, Donald, Eilton, Ephraim, Jolene Lau, Abigail, Jess, Jorris, Nemo, and more.. Jesus has been a very very good friend to all of us. He is here with us, we are never lonely. We will never hide at a corner alone singing a song of loneliness and become emo. Because he is always here for us, fill our heart with so much love. So we only sing the songs of joy and love! Jesus also teaches us how to befriend with one another. Embraces one anothers' weaknesses and be a back up for one another's short-comings. He is able to give up everything for his friends. He can pray a prayer of forgiveness for those who hates him and crucify him. He always set a good example as a friend, modeling what is impossible can be possible. He is a miracle do-er. He is an example of love. If you ask me to think of a word to describe Jesus, I would give you a tear instead. There is no word to describe how he has touched our hearts. Only when you speak of Jesus to us, look into our eyes and you will know how great a friend he is.

Most importantly, Jesus wants to be your friend too. Because he loves you and seeks you despite how much you reject him. That gives you the assurance that he will never forsake you.

Joshua 1:5 ...I will never leave you nor forsake you.

2009-07-26T19:36:00.000-07:00

25 Jul 09

Its a wonderful fellowship with Robin throughout the night till afternoon before service. Who says only girls can share deep things? Haha! Guys who cherish brothers and friends do share deep things too..! Its time to meet Matthias for Shepherding!! Robin drove me to hougang mrt station in convenience as he go home but there is a sudden change of plan.. Donald is stucked in school and couldn't attend the OTOT drama.. so I went to replace don. The time is 2:30pm and I need to be at national library by 3pm. So I took a cab there. As I thought, tonight I am teaching Matthias "Sharing Personal Testimonies & Gospel", I should also get in touch with it. So I shared Christ with the taxi driver. Oh man!! He's super resistance!! But it's ok.. I've done my part.

It's a weird drama... full of vulgarities. I felt that the actor over-do in scolding vulgarities and it sounds very "mian-qiang". But it is quite funny though.. i mean not the vulgarities that are funny.. its some other parts. The time soon hit 5:30pm and we took cab to Nexus. Just nice the whole service started as we stepped in. The sermon was great. Leanne preached the sermon, about repentance. I shared the lesson with Matthias after service and I felt really glad to hear that Matthias has been attempting to share Christ and invite people to church in bunk. Yay!!

This is what we did after service... Meridien dinner --> Shepherd Matthas --> Contenders League --> Talk to Richard for quite long.. ^_^ --> Cafe Cartel eat rubbish --> Beancurd shop --> Paradiz and met a church brother Lennon --> Cab home.

Nearly throw up in the cab. Upon arriving home, I fought sword fight with 3 cockroaches in the living room!! killed 2 and 1 went missing! omg!

Wassup @ Cafe Cartel?????
Donald is on my left, Augustine is on my right. These 3 sisters in front of us.

Look who is @ our neighbouring seat? Abigail, Jess, Han Yew & Daniel!!
PSsst! Why Jess so fierce! Sorry! Shouldn't have sneak shot!

After eating so much, I felt terribly ill that night.

26 Jul 09

I slept the whole day except going for CG lunch. I struggled home.. I couldn't move. Robin came to look for me at night and we chit chatted. So blessed that Fei and Robin would come and took care of me!

27 Jul 09

Today I didn't go to work.. I couldn't move for too long.. my head felt heavy and I've been perspiring for the past 12 hours. At least I don't have fever now.. But still diarrhoea-ing from whatever things go into my stomach. =( going to see doctor now~

2009-07-24T08:54:00.000-07:00

This is the confession of my Lunatic!

This is a cap given from my Sir... See what I'll do with it!

Dang! Dang! Marvelous fashion sense?

Well I love these baby dino in Ice Age III !!

It's another stagnant day and I spent my time reading this book "He Still Moves Stones" by Max Lucado. These are the few points that I learned and drill deep in my heart.

- There is forgiveness and overcoming of shame. Jesus gave it all. Walk with Jesus again through the darkest moment.

- Serving God should not lead to self-righteous or serving self. It is all about Jesus and for Him.

- Rise above against bitterness with Jesus.

- Give grace for growing pace.

- Never give up. Be eager to experience God's miracle with great faith! Pray in expectation!

I did exercises:

Abdominal Exercise

1st Set: 7 Jack Knife >> 30 elbow-touch-knee crunches >> 7 Jack Knife

2nd Set: 7 Jack Knife >> 15 elbow-touch-knee crunches >> 5 Jack Knife

Arm Exercise

1st Set: 7 Reverse Pull-Up

2nd Set: 7 Reverse Pull-Up

3rd Set: 5 Reverse Pull-Up + 2 Normal Pull-Up

4th Set: 4 Reverse Pull Up + 1 Normal Pull-Up

5th Set: 0 Pull Up LOLX

Stamina:

4++km Jog

Met Shepherd for getting"Faith Like Potato" DVD from him and took bus to his place, transit to 159 to amk hub and talk to Ephraim for awhile. Bought dinner home & watch the DVD with CG. Had a quick sharing and went off. Robin staying over night! =) I love this brother so much! =D

Yuki Yaki with Weiming & OC

2009-07-23T08:30:00.000-07:00

Today is a stoning day! There is nothing much to do in office because Christopher helped with the PAO Response and stuffs le.. I spent my day preparing Yi Mian's teaching which gonna teach him on this saturday. So excited!

After office hour, I met Weiming & OC and we go for Yuki Yaki! Here are some photos for you guys! ......

F.O.O.D. FOOD!!

See!! Hidden scallop! Cannot finish then do "Take-Cover" technique.

Our Ice Scream!!

Weiming & OC

Disgusting Edison as usual.

At fitness corner downstairs I did,

1st set: 12 reverse chin-ups

2nd set: 7 reverse chin-ups

3rd set: 3 reverse chin-ups >> 3 normal chin-ups

4th set: 2 pull ups

Pump-chek! ... walk home.

Just done with our bulletin for this week! Hoho~ We shall see this saturday!

Good night!!

Ezekiel's Birthday!

2009-07-22T09:03:00.000-07:00

Today is a fruitful day!

Gotten new idea about how to grow the group while spending time with God today.

Written sermon notes for Jun Hao & Bao Ren.

At night managed to surprise Ezekiel during his MCG with Ephraim & Jolene. His leader, Peixin fake rebuking him and suddenly we just sang his birthday song from behind. Wahaha! He almost cry!! The MCG is at Bishan prawning area.. I caught a prawn too! First try and succeeded!! We barbecued the prawns alive! Ezekiel's visitor, Wilson, actually cooked for us. It's so crispy and nice! Than you Wilson! haha~!

Now I'm back home. Today is a mentally drained day. Over-excited during the process of going to prawn house to surprise Ezekiel. My heart almost dropped. Tomorrow I will go back to office. Sholehudin, one of my colleague declared H1N1 positive today. I shall wear spiderman mask tomorrow.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EZEKIEL. I LOVE YOU BRO!

Pre-Birthday Celebrations!!!

2009-07-19T19:21:00.000-07:00

It's a heart warming birthday this year. My birthday is tomorrow and I had 3 celebrations already!

This is my first cake with entire CG on 18 Jul 09!

This is my 2nd cake on 19 Jul 09 A.M.This is my 3rd cake on 19 Jul 09 P.M.

Let's see some pictures on 19 Jul 09 A.M. I went swimming with Ephraim in the morning. Upon arriving home, I saw Ben, Jolene, Nemo, Ezekiel and Fei standing behind my door. They cheered and threw a cake at my face! LOL!!

hehe! After this, I went for membership class and Richard accompanied me there. I had a great time at membership class laughing at Pastor Jeff's teaching. He sure is a humorous guy. Sometimes his joke was cold too and I learned how he covered up. I gotta put it in use. LOL! When I reached home, to my surprise those people are still around! Jolene, Nemo and Ephraim! Initially I thought only Zacchaeus & Rayson would come to the P.M. party that my mum threw for me. Haha! Here are the images for you again!

Mum & Me. Weird post huh?

My Artificial Brothers & Sisters

All of us here!!

This is my Zacchaeus *didi* did for me. Love it! Love him so much!
While doing the "God Love Edison" gift with Zacchaeus(Robin), I had a trance that he is my real brother and we are living in childhood days fixing jigsaw puzzle together. Felt very loved. Thank God that Zacchaeus is now my brother in Christ, where this relationship last for eternity!

Really really really really really thank you: Mum, Rayson, Ben, Ephraim, Ezekiel, Fei, Jolene & Nemo. It is a super memorable day. And ultimate thanks to you, Jesus, who loves us altogether. We love you too!

Great Week!

2009-07-17T07:59:00.000-07:00

16 July 2009

It's a great and encouraging week!Before meeting Donald, I receive confirmation of all my 4 sheeps going to service this week and Matthias bringing his buddy, Yi Neng, who received Jesus before to our service for visits! I am happy because God used Yi Mian as a channel to allow people to be ministered. Thank you Lord!

Then I met Donald at The Cathay and we visited the new cake cafe call Caramel! It's really nice.. Pls enjoy these pictures

Er.. the pictures are not alot though.. alright.
At 7pm, I went to bedok to meet Han Yew and he briefed me and gave me task for PolyDINS forum. Yeah! I am able to give God my IT skills which He has blessed me. After that I went back to Nexus to look for Don, and we did our CG bulletin in Nexus Auditorium while Jeremiah provide wonderful singing that motivates my soul to go all the way for God! Had prata after that and went home on last train.

17 July 2009
I was at Medical Store in the afternoon to help Christian in separating the faulty masks and in condition masks. Was so draining and dusty. Christian said he almost going to cry when he was doing all these alone in the morning. So ke lian~ So I went to help him. Wanna see our store? Here you go....

yeah that was it.

After work, I went to serangoon swimming pool and whack 35 lapse of freestyle, follow by meeting Matthias for dinner. I passed him his baptism gifts too! I hope he likes it! We spent time at MacDonald's and chit chat about anything under the sky. I spent great time with Matthias and I felt so encouraged to meet more of my sheeps to share life. Matthias' life has been a great encouragement to me. Really thank God for him! =) Tomorrow is service day! I'll stop here~ Good night!

The Tongue

2009-07-14T08:42:00.000-07:00

(Melvin's wife is pregnant, they are chinese.)
Mindy: Hey Melvin, is your baby boy or girl? Thought of a name yet?
Melvin: Oh we do not know the gender of the baby, we wish to receive this baby with surprise!
Monte: U know I dreamt that when your wife gave birth to the baby, he is a black! While Krishna's baby is white!
(Krishna is an indian friend)
Mindy: Woah~ Melvin now you know the baby is not yours if the skin of your wife's baby is black.
Mindy: Maybe you would exchange your baby with Krishna. Haha!
Melvin: ...

If Melvin really loves his wife, though he laughs about this joke, will he be affected or feel hurt? If I were him, I will be hurt, probably angered too. It is not being petty, but because I truly regard and respect my wife.

What if one day Melvin and his wife encounter a misunderstanding? What is the chances of this joke to re-occur in his mind and tear down his faith in his wife if the baby is naturally born with darker skin?

I can blame Melvin for not trusting his wife first. Does it means we have the rights to add bitterness to it?

Words are so powerful that it may build up or tear down a person's life. Should we underestimate or be ignorant in what we speak? When such seeds were sowed, its growth may not be noticed. Is it too late when the root finally grounded? Most importantly, what can the culprit do to recover what is done? Will we realize too late?

Do you have any re-collections where people say something that hurt you deeply, tear you down, or caused you to lost your esteem? How about your words to have torn someone?

Think carefully...

James 3:6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

I give thanks to the Lord. Who build His church with love and peace. Where people hold on to one another in times of hardship and falls and acceptance in one another's flaws. Also, the most unlovable be loved.

But I myself has unknowingly sinned in tongue as well. I ought to repent and seek sanctification. Let my words only be encouragement.

Colossians 3:13-15 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

Obedience Is The Best Thing I Wanna Do

2009-07-07T09:01:00.000-07:00

Is obeying God hard? I believe in what I see but how far can I see? If my choice is perfect, why am I a sinner? Failure is an indication of disobedience. If I find that my life is not in satisfaction, probably I have missed God's blessing not because God doesn't bless but because I did not choose to receive the blessing by obeying. If I think that obeying God going to bring more unsatisfactory reason, then not obeying God is worse. God's character is to bless us, this cannot be changed. Does He, the maker of our lives does not have a plan?

God Promise To Bless
However, there should be no poor among you, for in the land the LORD your God is giving you to possess as your inheritance, he will richly bless you, (Deuteronomy 15:4)
He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? (Romans 8:32)
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. (Ephesians 1:3)

God Fulfill His Promises
God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill? (Numbers 23:19)

Surely He Has A Plan
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

Partial obedience = disobedience. Obeying leaders is God's command. If I think that I have a better plan and disobey my leader because I think he does not have the full insight of various matters, this is disobedience. This is pride issue and I will fall. Because pride is the language of Satan. Pride is what causes Satan to fall. So am I the child of God or child of Devil?

Slaves, submit yourselves to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh. (1 Peter 2:18) - I may argue that this verse is referring to slave. But the truth is this: if God set this standard for slaves, will He has a lower standard for servants of His Kingdom? Is God bias to practice favoritism among men? God is just. If my leader caused me to walk the wrong path, God will demand his account and God will redirect my path. Am I not trust God enough in this?

Disobeying God is the worst thing I ever want to do. I don't want to realize this truth until I meet Him personally. It would be too stunning.. I cannot take it.

Shattered Soul. Who knows? Who can reach?

2009-07-05T01:54:00.000-07:00

I have shared my brokenness to friends. It comforts me a little but when my friends are gone, the sorrows returned. How many friends do I have to tell so that I may receive complete comfort and healing? Do I have to tell the whole world? Will this help? Or do I give up in healing? Will they even understand my hurts? They are not me, how do they know?

God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth."(John 2:24)

God is Spirit. Only He understands because He can reach my soul and mend my brokenness. Only He can come into me and transform me. All I do is invite Him into my life. Now Jesus is here. And He says this: "Give it to me all that is harming you and taking you down. Take mine with you and go be free." =) =) =) Amen.

Thanksgiving

2009-06-29T08:21:00.000-07:00

1. Holy Spirit reveal God's truth in my life.
2. God's presence in my life.
3. Love taught through the cross.
4. Indescribable intimacy.
5. Church & fellowships.
6. Never be in wants and needs.
7. Experience guidance & leading.
8. Experience Grace.
9. God's promise and words never change
10. Sheeps' break through. Although little, but every sheeps has break through.
11. Getting closer with colleagues.
12. Honoring me in persecutions.
Ultimately the personal relationship.

What's else? God is real. God is good.

Mum left again...

2009-06-24T04:11:00.000-07:00

I will show the world Jesus you are real. I will live by faith. Aunt, Dad and I will win this battle with you, Lord. Amen! Praise u Lord!

God Brought Mum Home

2009-06-23T07:56:00.001-07:00

God brought mum home today. I can never forget the kind of emotion stirring in my heart during the journey back home. Suppose to have Old Testament Survey course today. Before the class started, mum called and sobbed badly over the phone. God knows why that I did not delete one of the old messages in my inbox which has her address in it. I fled from cuppage to my mum's location by cab. I was searching for the unit........

I saw her in a small unit, packing up her stuffs. I went in and helped her. Together we carried 3 boxes and 1 luggage to the lobby. The area was very dark and isolated, yet there is a cab dropping a passenger right at the spot where we are hopelessly cracking our brain about what to do. In my heart, I know God arranged this. We board the cab and travel back to Ang Mo Kio avenue 10 Blk 558, that is my house. During the journey.. I felt so loved by God. Who am I that God has to bless me this much?

My mum and dad were separated for about a year. This is not the first separation. It was when mum is not at home, dad received Jesus into his life and experienced life transformation. Dad is a well known evangelist in his church! He did not really understand the gospel due to his illiteral limitation. All he knew was Jesus die on the cross for mankind and he brought 5 converts within a few months. He did this all by faith. Even with such little knowledge about God, he has such faith. Something I must learn from.

I am in awe about what God has done. There are so many people in the world facing broken family issues, why God did such a great thing for me? I am a nobody but a sinner. What had happened in my life, my experiences throughout this 10 months of service to God's ministry, has displayed the extend of his Grace yet it wasn't the fullest yet! I am a family-oriented person and I desire family warmth very very very much. I didn't remember warmth from my family as long as I could recall. This is not important anymore because I know God is going to give it to me soon. This time round, I am going to watch a live show of the movie "Fire-proof".

Amen.

The Day

2009-06-04T10:38:00.000-07:00

Once when I am traveling to work, I had a sudden Godly experience... I felt the spirit is overwhelming, causing my body to tremble and felt weak. This picture came, covered my physical view.

The Image:
There is a loud noise from the sky.
There is a bright light in the sky.
Everyone on the surface of the earth stumbled.
But Christians all over the place dashing towards the same direction.
Those in vehicles alight and run on the road.
The place is chaotic. The only systematic thing is everyone running the same direction.
Every believers cheered madly.
Every non-believers trembled and stumbled in fear and lost.
Every Christ-followers knew the direction to head with the Spirit's conviction.
The family of Christ were sharing to non-believers and running at the same time.
They are shouting: "QUICK REPENT!! YOU MUST!!" as we are running.

The above are the abstract of the image. I was then felt weak and tremble internally. Almost falling to the side of the bus seat. The Glory of God is magnificent.

God is with me

2009-05-27T06:51:00.000-07:00

I wanna share this testimony here which happens on 14 May 2009. I had my first GA surgery on this particular day. I remember back then when I am still a kid, I had a peanut stuck inside my nostril due to mischief. I was terrified in the hospital when 5 doctors grab hold of me and force a needle-like instrument into my nose in removal of the substance(peanut). This memory haunt me badly. Ever since, I had phobia in surgical instruments.

When I woke up on 14 May 2009, I trembled on my bed and I wanted to cancel the surgery. The fear inside me put my whole body into sweat and trembling. I am reluctant to get off my bed though I am awake. Then I turn to God and kept praying and praying and praying.. Miraculously, peace came and covered my fear. I can feel the overwhelming spirit rest upon me.

I get off my bed and went to prepare myself to set off to hospital. While showering, I can feel the fear is no longer in me. Then I took a cab to hospital due to the time wasted sweating and crying on bed. I felt ease. When I arrived at the hospital, the chilling cold environment did not disturb my peace. I am still of no fear. Up to the point when the nurse get me to change for the surgery, I remain unshaken. I even told my mum to go for breakfast because I wanted to pray. About 30 minutes later, I am being transported into operation room. As the ceiling and pillars roll pass my sight, I still remained unshaken. Now I am lying below three big light bulbs on the surgery bed, I am still unshaken. I lied there in the same position where Lord Jesus died on the cross. My left arm for the IV line and my right arm to be straightened so they could access my right chest. Even at the final moments when I am being put to sleep, the peace in me remain unshaken. I know God is with me. I have read many stories about God giving people peace in crisis.. Now I have experienced it and I want to affirm such testimonies to the people around me who know me.

Praise the Lord!

23 August 2008 I wrote these...

2009-05-22T12:03:00.000-07:00

Today is the day when I sincerely accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour. The place of my conversion is located at Hope Singapore Church. I promised to do prayers & talk to God frequently and bring God wherever I go, whatever I do, whatever I think and whatever I speak, I do them with the guidance of God. I promise to follow his commandments so as to obtain the purity of my heart that strengthen my path as a Christian and the relationship with God. I adopt the way of praying through journaling. This is to keep my prayer focused.

I pray for Love, Purity of my Heart, and Faith that strengthen the relationship between me and God, as well as the world.

1st Priority Prayer: Guidance from God through distortion created by unfaithful interpreters.

2nd Priority Prayer: Helps to bring me back to God when I drift away from Him.

3rd Priority Prayer: Follow God's guidance in my future paths.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
As I was clearing the mess in my living room, I saw this little booklet given by Kimberley in the past. I took out and read and I found this page. It is the day when I say Yes to the Lord. These are the very first prayer as a Christian. And God truly answered these prayers again and again. I had faith in the biblical truth instead of self-translated theory and philosophy. I often be drifted away and God brought me back again and again. I wanna thank God for not forgetting my prayer even though the fact is that I have forgotten these prayers. I already forgotten the moments I wrote these message for God. Thank you Thank you so much Jesus.. I love you..

Why - Nicole Nordeman

2009-05-03T08:01:00.000-07:00

Music Video

We rode into town the other day
Just me and my daddy
He said I'd finally reached that age
And I could ride next to him on a horse
That of course was not quite as wide

We heard a crowd of people shouting
And so we stopped to find out why
And there was that man that my dad said he loved
But today there was fear in his eyes

So I said daddy why are they screaming
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why is he dressed in that bright purple robe?
I'll bet that crown hurts him more then he shows
Daddy please can't you do something?
He looks as though he's gonna cry
You said he was stronger then all of those guys
Daddy please tell me why?
Why does everyone want him to die?

Later that day the sky grew cloudy
And daddy said I should go inside
Somehow he knew things would get stormy
Boy was he right
But I could not keep from wondering
If there was something he had to hide
So after he left I had to find out
I was not afraid of getting lost
So I followed the crowds
To a hill where I knew men had been killed
And I heard a voice come from the cross

And it said father why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why are they casting their lots for my clothes?
This crown of thorns hurts me more then it shows
Father please can't you do something?
I know that you must hear my cry's
I thought I could handle a cross of this size
Father remind me why?
Why does everyone want me to die?
When will I understand why?

My precious son
I hear them screaming
I'm watching the face of the enemy beaming
But soon I will clothe you in robes of my own
Jesus this hurts me much more then you know
But this dark hour
I must do nothing
Though I've heard your unbearable cries
The power in your blood
Destroys all of the lies
Soon you'll see past their unmerciful lies
Look there below
See the child
Trembling by her father's side
Now I can tell you why
She is why you must die

My Saviour

2009-05-03T04:47:00.000-07:00

O Lord, I call you my Heavenly Father.
You made me out of dust,
Still you invest your all in me.
You gave up your honorable place,
And dwell in this filthy temple.
Still you stayed and delight in me.

O What did I do Lord?
That you will soil yourself for me?
You announce me a sinner,
Yet personally came to my redemption.
You made covenants of love with fools,
And hold all responsibilities by yourself.
How great is my God?

My Lord is full of Mercy and Grace.
He saved me from dreadful dooms
And rescue me from deadly grave.
Now I am given the fullest of life
Abundant of Hope and Grace.
Then he said to me I am His,
And loved by Him.

Now my Lord has kept me blameless
And shared with me His Glory.
Now all I want is to cover myself,
In the blood of my Lord Jesus Christ.
Let His blood consume me;
Flow into me through every gaps.

Dwelling

2009-04-20T05:11:00.000-07:00

My Lord, whose name exalted most high.
Your throne higher than heavens,
Yet your dwelling place in your children.
You left the throne and came to nurse the troubled hearts.

Your presence comfort our souls,
Your voice bold the weaks,
Deliver every fades into empowering faith.

The Lord is our confident, our victory, our arm.
Every victories brought forth in His hand.
He say rise, we rise.
He say go, we go.
He say fight, we're not alone.
For the Lord has rested on us,
Our arms will lift mountains.

If not for Jesus, what will I be today?

2009-04-11T18:32:00.000-07:00

Dear Jesus... Thank you for picking me up from the mess and showed me the way to live my life. If not for you, I will still be wandering aimlessly, living as though I'm dead. I will learn to appreciate you for every blessings and transformations you did in me of becoming what I am today. Even if you have never changed me, I will still be moved by your love, that you have showed me on the cross. You crucified yourself for me. Through various trails and changes, you empowered my faith and shows me what is love by faith. My faith is no longer blind. I want to spend the rest of my life in your presence. This is my conviction now. But I do not know the future. I pray that you guard my heart for me against the devil because I am weak. Let me not be over-confident in my victory over satan, so that I will not let my guard down. I am feeling dry lesser and lesser as time goes by because you have showed me the way to re-charge myself. None other than the motivation by your love.

The Holy Spirit spoke this to me: "God is the Alpha and Omega. The Author of my life from the beginning til the end of age. He knew who am I in the past, and what I will become in the future. He knows every sin I have in my life and he accepted me the way I am in the past, present and future. His love endures forever!" For this reason, I know I am yours.

Sing A Song For God

2009-03-24T05:51:00.001-07:00

Sha la la la la-ba~
Sha la la la la-ba~

Holy God I know you are here.
I am sorry for the silence.
Everytime I pray,
You always here listen to me.
Now I seek you to restore me.
Let your spirit of Joy be blessed upon me.

Everything of me may drift away.
But my Will always seek you.
I know you are the only way for me.
Unknowingly, I have live my life for you.
When I didn't spend enough time with you,
I feel miserable and dry.
I need you to feed me your spiritual food,
So that this penny of life of mine can be kept alive.

Lord everything of me may drift away,
But my Will will lead everything of me to you.
I give you the approval to take charge of my life.
In this life, there is nothing greater than walking in your hands.
I do not know how to live if you are not alive.
My life stake is on you my Lord.

While at this time of recuperation as you restore me,
Please take care of the sheeps you put under my care.
Guide them with your words, lead them in your hands.
Lead them in your righteousness.
Keep them in the narrow path.

Lord I count on you in everything I do.
I know what I do is meaningless.
Only what you do through me is credible.
Lord I give my life to you.
Punish me if I did not follow you.
I rather be punished by you than taken by devil.
I am alive as your offering.
I am dead as your spirit.
Holy God... let your strength made perfect in my weakness.
Let's show the evil spirit in me how distinctive your power is!

Sha la la la la-ba~
Sha la la la la-ba~
Oh-Sha la la la la-ba sha la la-ba~
Amen!

Silent

2009-03-24T04:37:00.000-07:00

Today I am very silent. It is quiet me. I just want to be left alone. I am lazy to talk. Why am I so low in spirit? I gonna pray and ask God later. I feel physically tired too. I have never been this tired before. Though I am silent, I have a piece of peace in my heart. Quiet and clear. I can sense God strongly in my prayers. It felt like God is just standing right in front of me listening to me. But I am wondering.. will God be unpleased about my silence? Can I still be salt and light in such silence?

And.... I thank God that Casper finally found his owner! Casper will be leaving my house on friday..! I also pray that God will take good care of Casper through the hands of the new owner. =)

Renewal

2009-03-23T02:43:00.000-07:00

Previous blog: edchristianwalk.blogspot.com

God is Great! I really want to thank God for renewing my heart. Lately I have been tired and lack of trust towards God. Throughout the contemporary camp, I was feeling dried and tired. But today finally I prayed. I tell God I am so tired and I just want to follow behind Him. I asked God to lead me in every actions and words I am to speak. I ask God to restore me physically, mentally and spiritually. Immediately after this prayer, my officer, someone who is strict and rare to grant off-day, persuaded me to take off the next day! I declined as I have already had my leave approved by her on the coming friday and monday. Wow! Then she continued to persuade me to get an ED (Early Dismissal). So I left my office at 4pm today. I went home eagerly to spend my time with God. I received God's comfort and experienced His presence again! This is the verse of the QT, Exodus 13:21. [By day the LORD went ahead of them in a pillar of cloud to guide them on their way and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so that they could travel by day or night.] Amen!

At the times of my lowest, God revealed His power instantly after my prayer. I am really happy to receive this affirmation from God that He is with me. GOD IS WITH ME, NOTHING CAN AGAINST ME!